Critics Corner.

Opinions. And LOTS of them.

Why the Yanks hate Football (oops..soccer)

Posted by Sports Snob on August 20, 2006

10. CANNOT accept a draw. Need overtime, Double OT, Triple OT.

9. There are no Cheerleaders

8. Average Yank: “What? I LOVE football. Every year I tune in to watch the Super Bowl!”

7. Not enough goals. Yep, unlike baseball where there is a home run every TWO minutes.

6. Football is a dirty, filthy sport played by the commies.

5. Cannot understand how a WORLD cup has teams from all over the world participating. (Unlike this)
4. They didn’t invent it.

3. The offside rule is just too damn hard to understand.

2. Football is boring. They rather watch Golf.

1. They suck at it.

Z

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31 Responses to “Why the Yanks hate Football (oops..soccer)”

  1. Ravi Says:

    and how the “world champion” is always a national team!! and not some franchise which hardly worldly in its status

  2. Z Says:

    :D Yeah..I know what you mean. Just because they have a couple of Candian teams such as Raptors and Blue Jays how dare they call it the World Series :D

  3. Ravi Says:

    ….and the winners world champions!! :D

  4. Kesavan Says:

    Their football isn’t even a ball.

  5. Prof Says:

    … and they run, throw and catch!

  6. Ravi Says:

    …and wear oversized shoulder pads and helmets!

  7. Panchos Says:

    With all due credit to soccer, I dont think american football is something to be ridiculed.. Baseball I can understand (pretty much like cricket), its either boring or its a passion.. I seldom rebut opinions for the sole fact that they are opinions and not rules, but for the sake of sports I had to do it here.

    The reason american football is not played with a rounded object is because it has to be thrown long distances and at the same time has to be caught with a certain degree of difficulty.. How far do u think you can throw a soccer ball with precision and accuracy.. you have to appreciate the people that were able to think out of the box to come up with such a design and be able to still call it a ball…

    As for wearing shoulder pads and helmets.. I would love to see one of you guys trying to play the game without it..

    There is no point in comparing american football and soccer, just cause of having identical names.. Sports is about competing to the best of ones ability and entertaining the audience.. Soccer and football are wonderful games that do both..I guess by now you mught have deduced that I am a huge fan of american football as well..

    Wonder what the site moderators think about this post..

  8. Ravi Says:

    @panchos, well i would love to play rugby (no helmets & shoulder pads) except for my body is err not upto the mark for a contact sport.

    i am not going to try and put down american football as might end being shown up due to my ignorance towards the sport.

    either way i am sure the worlds big enough for both to happily co-exist

  9. Panchos Says:

    @Ravi, Haha.. I do agree that rugby players dont use shoulder pads and helmets but football players need them because the contact is far worse.. There are certain tackles in rugby that are illegal but allowed in football and these variations in rules require body protection..

    Well I am not Anold to be trying out either of them.. You said it right ‘the world is big enough to peacefully co-exist with multiple sports’… hopefully people can learn to co-exist with each other similarly..

  10. Sports Snob Says:

    How nice! :)

  11. Don Parkison Says:

    I grew up watching American Football (I will call it gridiron) and I will always love it. Every play is a 30 second chess match combined with the collisions of a car crash. But I am growing to love English Football as well. I think more of us would grow to love it if we could get some decent TV coverage. Fox Soccer Channel is supposed to be our answer, but this Saturday they have no EPL games at all and there are eight being played. That’s crap!
    Americans love passion and pageantry resulting in large stadiums filled with loud fans. EPL has that and I think more of us would get exited about it if it was only available. Baseball is a relic from the days of sweatshops and radios. It is not fun to watch and requires very little athletic ability. College and pro gridiron has full stadiums for every game. College and pro Ice Hockey as full arenas. EPL games are always sold out, but what do we get on ESPN. Hours and hours of poker?!?! When the hell did playing cards become a sport?
    What is my point? We would grow to love it if it was only on. Our sports networks are dropping the ball (a gridiron term) on this one big time. ESPN and Fox Sports need to get it together or Sky is going to swoop in and take over, I hope. I can only take so much more of hitting my refresh button to get the text from the match.

  12. Z Says:

    I hope somebody out there is listening to you. And yes I totally agree with you regarding Baseball! And yes ESPN is notorious for giving too much airtime to sports such as darts, poker and pool!

  13. Mary Says:

    Y’all forgot that ESPN also shows DOMINO tournaments! (Does anyone else see a correlation between the sedentary lifestyles the majority of Americans supposedly lead & a “sports” channel basically glorifying games that require no athletic ability–& almost no movement–whatsoever?)

    Seriously, though, you’re right on in saying that more Americans would probably grow to love football if it was on TV more often. I try to watch FSC as much as possible, love Steve & Nick, think Fox Sports World Report & Sky are excellent, & am thankful for the live matches that are occasionally on, but I still yearn for more.

  14. Sports Snob Says:

    Yeah, i can see that americans, if they are willing to loosen their purse strings, get enuf of footie on their tele. i too get FSC and ESPN deportes.but the commentary is soo american. For example. Barcelona offence has been very potent. They are double teaming ronaldinho……all examples of americanised commentary. it may be endearing to americans but for me  it’s very annoying. But no more whining , I’m just happy that i get to see so much football

  15. inVINCEable Says:

    Whatever you Europeans, your soccer players would get owned by our football players in a fight. Thierry Henry would be owned by an A.J. Hawk, easily. Ha, I’d like to see David Beckham play american football!!

  16. Ravi Says:

    @inVINCEable - i guess you havent come across the likes of vinnie jones as yet

  17. Z Says:

    LOL@ Ravi..yep…Vinnie Jones rocks :D
    What InVINCEable says is hilarious.. ! Wonder if he will come back here.

  18. Ravi Says:

    @Z, lol true.. also theirs the pests in the form of robbie savage, paul dickov and dennis wise who do not consider size as a disadvantage!

  19. Eric Says:

    this is probably the most closed minded blogs I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading
    ~a Canadian

  20. Critics Corner » Blog Archive » Beckham to LA Galaxy Says:

    [...] the chances of the Yanks taking to the sport in a big way are about as remote as India qualifying for the 2014 football World cup. Football (or [...]

  21. jaytoothetee Says:

    @RAVI. or neil ruddock… he wud absolutely murder any of those poofter yanks that try to be hard, yet wear about 4 ft of padding on their frickin shoulders…. try playin a real sport. im glad you got independence form us… ur such a totally w*nk country. (peter crouch could kick anyone’s arse too lol)

  22. RichieW Says:

    Looks like Bush and Blair have still got their work cut out!

  23. FootballWorld Says:

    Actually football is a general term. When you are referring to the most popular game, you should call it soccer, soccer football or Association football. When you are referring to a game using pigskin ball, it is American football. I mean that it is VERY VERY CONFUSING TO CALL SOCCER OR AMERICAN FOOTBALL BY SIMPLY FOOTBALL. They have distinctions okay?

    The Americans are not just open on this game, unless they can produce
    I both love soccer and American football. These types of football are the best footballs. Soccer is a game of stamina, AMERICAN FOOTBALL IS A GAME OF LIVE CHESS. I appreciate these two footballs. Sorry I don’t like rugby so much.

  24. Mario G Says:

    Top Reasons why I hate American Football:

    1. The gay replays the ref has to watch if a coach challeneges a play
    2. Time outs
    3. Too many rules
    4. Only one person uses their foot on the team

  25. chris Says:

    American football is a mutated form of Rugby Union, which is a popular world wide sport invented in the middle of the 19th century in England. Rugby was the game that Americans played at college until the start of the 20th century. It became American football because Rugby was deemed to dangerous (not so tough then!) The major change to the game amongst others was being able to throw the ball forward (have to pass backwards in Rugby). This changed the dynamics of the game so much it became a new sport. Yet Rugby is the reason you have an egg shaped ball, why the object of the game is to cross a line and the reason why you kick the ball through H shaped goal posts. It’s not unique at all. Also Rugby and Football (soccer) both evolved from the same brutal game that had few rules. Football is in fact written in history records as far back the 11th century. Even King Henry the 8th played in the 15th century.It,s ironic that both Football (soccer) and American Football have the same ancestral origins, and is probably why they have the same name. The only truly original US sport is in fact Basketball.
    The problem Americans have with the game is the majority just don’t get it. This is obvious when you hear things such as no tactics? not enough goals? can’t use your hands? You just don’t appreciate how difficult it is to create chances in Football (soccer). The beauty of the game is when special players are able to unlock the key with some superb skill . It’s not supposed to be easy, thats the whole point. The reason why Americans don’t get? i guess it’s because there not educated in the game and its history. To be honest theres not much hope for the game there. I for one couldn’t care less, just don’t slagg of a sport you don’t understand.

  26. dave Says:

    In football (soccer) history, the original games were fairly high scoring affairs. However the longer a game is played (its been some 150 years), the better teams became with there tactics. The obvious one being the defensive tactics, because you can’t loose if you don’t let the other team score. In the modern game if a team just goes on an all out attack and throws to may men forward the opponents will just sit back and counter attack you. Inevitably this style of football dose not work in the long run. Ask any Newcastle United fan about the 1996/97 season and they will tell you. Great to watch but wont bring success in the long term. Obviously the better players you have the more expansive football a team can play but there always has to be caution. Thats why football (soccer) to an uneducated eye cant understand how hard it is to break down the opponents, and how tactics in football are executed. Trust me in 2005 somehow Liverpool won the European champions league. This is the biggest club competition in world football (soccer). Yet the individual players in that team should not of got anywhere near the final let alone win it. Only 2 or 3 players in that side were world class players, the rest were decent or very average for that level of football. Yet Bentize the liverpool coach got his tactics right. He made them play to there strengths and it worked. Also you would not find any better advert for football (soccer) then that final against AC Milan. 3-0 down at half time, looked dead and buried. At this point Benitez had to throw caution to the wind. 3 goals in five minutes in the second half brought the most amazing comeback witnessed in the game. OK we won on penalties in the end, which is a lucky dip to be honest, yet it is the best way invented so far to find a winner in cup games like this, and they are exciting to watch, just as long as your team wins. An amazing match. Only someone who has never witnessed a game like this can call it boring.

  27. soccer? its not what the english called it Says:

    id quite like to watch some american footballer try and play football (soccer). Then watch him trip over the ball, attempt to kick, yet with the lack of co-ordination he has with his lower limbs would probably end up looking like my gran playing footie. Then watch him as the other team take the piss out of him, probably a few nutmegs would do. Then after 20 minutes watch him collapse as he is not used to running for more then 1 minute before standing around taking a breather for half an hour. Then id watch him cry as everybody starts playing piggy in the middle with him, yet his meat head brain cant figure out whats going on. Then id throw him on a rugby pitch give him the ball in his hands. At this point he has a smile on his face because the ball is the right shape. He will throw the ball forwards some 30 meters and give away a penalty for a knock on. When the ref tells him this he just looks confused. The next time he has the ball in his hands he shits his pants as he sees a prop forward built like a brick shit house charge into him and take him out. Then when he stands up he says ” shucks, i’ma goin back tu yank doodle land were the peoples they a give a shit bout who i aamm. Plus i dont liike plaayin a game wheere yall cant wear no helmet and shoulder pads, its juust noot americann. USA USA USA USA”

  28. soccer? its not what the english called it Says:

    lets just hope an American never becomes head of FIFA. We will end up with a game where players goal hang cos there will be no offside rule. Its just to confusing and un American. There will also be no need to kick the ball any more because you can use your hands. Americans like to play games with there hands apparently. Because they cant kick me thinks. Then they will swap the ball for one of the egg shaped ones. Americans like Rugby players like to play chase the egg. Then they will turn the goal into an H. The net and goalkeeper just confuses them. There wont be corners free kicks or throw ins anymore because they didn’t think of it. The new aim of the game will be to cross the line to get a touch down. Plus they will be more points. Then they will finally call soccer football. I just can’t help but think that this will not be good for the game. If anything i would go as far as saying that a game like that would be shit. PS i dont like Rugby either. Lets go find an egg a chase it, but we wont hardly use are feet but call it football. Yet ill have a look of bemusement when someone that isn’t American calls soccer football. How can they possibly call soccer football all they do is kick a ball about with there feet. FEET = FOOT ROUND BALL =BALL Throwing = THROWING WITH YOUR ARM EGG = EGG. Anybody fancy playing catch with an egg? catchy name for a sport that.

  29. davyboy Says:

    Darts, poker, snooker, pool, chess, checkers, netball, tiddlywinks, ludo, monopoly,cricket, are all better then American (cough) Football. Also Formula 1 is better then nasscar.

  30. truered Says:

    Why are all you Yanks buying EPL teams? Mr Hicks and Mr Gillett are a @*****G nightmare. They clearly have no knowledge or understanding of they history of the club or the game. Our club has been proud to conduct themselves with dignity since 1892, keeping buisness behind closed doors. The inflated egos of Hicks and Gillett with there bitching in the media, unsettling of our manager, there inability to progress and fund the new stadium they promised has made the club into a laughing stock. They have only been here a year, and they have caused chaos. Mr Hicks called us a franchise for Christs sake! No we are not a branch of burger king or fucking Mcdonalds. They have bought they club by taking out a massive loan which puts the club into debt. Watching Mr Hicks at last weeks Champ league game against Chelsea just made me squirm. Sitting there trying to sing youll never walk alone as the Kop rawed into the night, he has got a nerve. He and Gillett are public enemy number one. The amount of protests and ill feeling towards them, yet they are brainless enough to stick around. Sell up to DIC who clearly will put the finances into the club that it really needs. I for one dont want the day to come when Liverpool are renamed Liverpool Redsocks, liverpool Galaxy or Liverpool fucking Allstars. And if they ever do build a new stadium you no its gonna be called the Fucking Mcdonalds arena instead of New Anfield. Until you Americans finally understand the game, you should just keep out of it and play your crappy sports that the rest of the world has little or no intrest in. Fucking Super Bowl loving lard arsed pricks. We are world champions but are the only country that plays?You just like playing with yourselves lets face it! America the country where only 10% of people have been abroad? and most of them went to Canada and Mexico. Stupid blinkered nation that is so insular that you truly believe your the center of the universe. If it wasnt for the British youd all be bloody French, then you stabbed us in the back! You also wont have any sports to play seeing as you nicked them from us anyway. They probably didnt teach you that at school because they are probably embarest about it.

  31. blind Says:

    I cant help but think that the US dosn’t like football/Soccer because the majority of the country is anti British, anti Europe, anti Russian, (there not communists anymore) anti African, anti middle eastern, anti South American and any other part of the world that loves this sport. The Funny thing is your country is made up from all these parts of the world. Most of your ancestors are imigrants from Europe yet you have a negative image of Europe and its culture? The funniest thing is most American sports were invented in Britain anyway. You have just become blinkered to there historical origins. Why don’t you find out how these sports started out. I think you would be shocked.

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